DSM IV - END OF THE WORLD MOODS.

I've been doing some movement. Though I bet if I can move more, I'll probably sweat out a lot more. Although I don't know much about what exercise to begin with, I feel like I'm not doing much at all. I try my best to get up from the computer, use one of my exercise apps on my Itouch and just start exercising. It's hard sometimes, because I have a lot of distractions going on, and I'd like to just get into losing weight because I'm very much obese. I'm so obese, i'm obsessed about losing it all.

I gain it back because I have hypothyroidism. My thyroid, in my neck, is not helping me at all-because it's not there. It's been taken out of me, ever since I had the surgury in 2006.

Feeling bad about it at times, I think, I should of been more careful taking care of myself instead of imagining my world coming down on me.

I've had END OF THE WORLD moods since I left the High Desert. I've been thinking about when I will die, or when the world will die though its just shock and awe to me-because I can go any second and would miss seeing something spectacular happen; Even though, I wouldn't want to participate in it. I'm not a religious guy, I'm Agnostic and headed toward Atheisim. It's all towards the lack of faith I had. I don't know god, I thought I did know him/her/it although No one knows anything about god. Im not a pawn in a fucking game, like spore, where I should be messed around with. I'm a human being.

I'm a mind, that needs to be free.

Those Moods sometimes give me chills, I don't care if the world will end. All I want is my experiences in life. Till I turn my side in bed, because of any sort of reason, where I have to go. Like extremely old age, bad health or anything like that, I'll know it was time to go.

And I'm not going to judge it, or say NO! it's was good knowing this.

It's almost time for me to get ready to go to work. I'm positive right now, because I know-Not right now, nor never will I bring up that kind of mood again.

Later.