I haven't forgiven myself for all the crumby things I did before. I started to think that I'm going to rack up another crumby life after I make tabs on what I'm going to say right now. I think that whatever happened, happened. I can't change the fact I had a couple of crushes. I had a man crush once with this guy I liked a lot. He was very handsome and sort of quiet, funny. I used to think that I was too much for someone like him. I am now. I was right. I can't forgive myself so many times, thinking that I said a lot of stupid shit to this man about how he gave me some experiences I could never forget. How he was like fun, but I never mentioned this to him at all. I get anxious trying to express myself at all.
Even when it's someone outside my circle. Remember I read up on my sign, it's a Scorpio. I'm supposed to poison parts of myself whenever I get the chance, and that was then. I literally killed myself when I Txted him a lot. And He pushed me away.
I can be numb to rejection. I would still take a no for an answer but I would also probe for another meaning to why you said "No" in the first place. There has to be a reason. I'm a scorpio remember I like to find out reasons to why.
If you're out there reading this. I'd like to hook up and enjoy those moments.
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