Religulous.

I've been following some kind of existentialism bullshit. I'm not religious or anything like that, I stopped going to meetings (being an Ex-JW) and feeling that religion is not for me. I openly accept and respect other people's religion. But don't try to convert me or try to tell me something that would be excellent for me in another lifetime. I get that from my mom everyday. I tried to think about the things that I would do, if I ever did any, out of any religious law or anything like that. I don't give a shit about celebrating my birthday even though It's a mile marker on the way to where ever I'm going.

I've been a secret atheist for a long time. I tried to let others in my family now that without tell them. I just sort of smack the air with notes that would make me nervous.

I sort of put myself in a corner over the past two years. I tried looking for other things to do. I don't know if I would be telling myself that I did something right by looking for a "Fuck Bud"-I just want someone who can understand me and not think I'm a closet-mental fucking case. That and doesn't care what I do. Just love me. I tried to this with other people. I fail at most every try.

I'll figure out that I'm either a boring person with an fat girth and average length penis or someone who is extremely scaring. I hate the latter. I'm not scary. I just stare into everybody cause I'm waiting for some kind of bile to be spilled on me.

But fuck it, who cares. I'm drunk and heading over to play games after I close this blog.